Unless you’ve truly walked in the shoes of someone else, you can’t possibly understand them completely. And even if you have walked a similar path, still– our circumstances are all so different, we can’t possibly know completely about them, or vice versa.
Even for people who have the same type of job I do, they can understand the stressors of the job to some degree, but not completely– as our environments are all different.
It is a lonely path. Sometimes the choices we make are more lonely ones than the rest of the crowd.
Following Christ is like that.
I sometimes press on blindly, in faith, just trusting God in the darkness, trusting He’s holding onto it all. Other times I press on knowing fruit is growing. Often I am overwhelmed, unsure and afraid. I often question, “Lord, is this the path? Am I on the right path? I’m not expecting an easy road. But did I hear correctly? Do I need to change courses now?”
Have your circumstances ever made you question, too?
The other day I felt like I couldn’t go on in my present daily job. I’ve been here before. How do I know I’m doing the right thing? It gets unbelievably hard sometimes. It can be physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually draining. I want badly to recline by a warm spring, with a glass in hand and a tray of fruits at my side. (You know, like those pictures of the decadent Romans in the history books). Can’t I just get some refreshment? Where is my spring? Where is the relief? Can’t someone else just take over for a while so I can go off by myself for a long time of introspection, prayer and rest? Is that impossible???
Seems it often is. Well-meaning friends will say, “Take a few minutes here or there. Take a couple of hours on a weekend and go off by yourself.” Well, sometimes there is just nowhere to go– I mean, try to find a safe, quiet place! A coffee shop? Not exactly quiet and private. No, sometimes you just need more than just a couple of days…Alone. Somewhere safe, for an extended time of actual rest and reflection.
When I am physically and mentally drained, I don’t know who or where to turn to. Who understands? No one, even those who have a similar kind of job, can truly understand. “Nothing but the cross of Jesus” comes to mind. Shouldn’t that give me rest? Is it supposed to? Am I not grasping onto it like I should?
Dear Lord, help me to find complete rest in You and You alone.