I mess up again. And again.
(Source: Microsoft Office image)
Each year the story of opening up the box of Christmas lights is a different one. This year, upon opening the box of Christmas lights, I find a random mix of mis-matched strands of lights with only half of them working. In addition, the outdoor electrical light switches have mysteriously quit working.
But there is more than just lights that are broken.
I lose it. I yell, and think some things in my mind and feel things in my heart that don’t get heard by anyone but God. I realize I am more of a grumpy mom than I really wish to be.
And I go to God and tell Him and He is the place where I get the balanced view. He loves unconditionally, but He also speaks to my soul and conscience. He corrects, convicts, and comforts.
“The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
Then I remember.
“The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.” Psalm 23:1
I memorized that when I was 12. And when did I forget? That even in the busyness of the season, the travels, or my mess-ups– that I shall not want?
“I give you my heart-cup, Lord. Please fill it overflowing.”
Sometimes Often, I feel like those bulbs. Broken, fused, and in a tangled mess.
Yet, I know the truth– that there is no amount of brokenness that He cannot fix. God is always willing to make things new if I simply ask. I am reminded of his gift of grace again through these tangled strands of lights.
It’s when I am broken that He shines bright in me.
The lights on the Christmas tree, sparkling through the window, will have to do. It’s lovely to see houses glowing with lights, but this year, the decor will be simple.
And I’m ok with that, because this broken empty bulb has a light shining inside her, all year round.