certain/uncertain

Some things are certain (what I know)
Others uncertain (I don’t know what you’re thinking)

.

.

.

Some know how to love—
(you—beautiful you—from what I perceive and believe) —

and I’m certain about certain facts such as
(          )

And others don’t know how to love such as
(                   )

I ask– did you leave? What—or who—are you dreaming of?
(Please don’t leave—)

When I sleep
You are in my dreams (I can always find you there)

And in the moments and shadows of a day
(Sunlight— when I think of you—sunlight)

I can’t get used to
what others might endure — (torture, that is) —

such as certain kinds of torture, such as your poetic, metaphorical,
figurative absence — (don’t leave my dreams)

A dream is something to hope for—
No matter how impossible

Stringing a human through a life—
(we curious humans believe in infinite minutiae

of 0.000000000000000001% chances or less)
We put ourselves through such hopeful agonies

Whether written on blogs, pages of life,
or somewhere else— I speak of a soul

I don’t understand codes,
(though I’ve tried my own without success)

I’m struggling to know the meaning of some words
How should I then live?

(I am a fool)
(Did I imagine the story? Am I lost in a story I only imagined?)

Are battles won by soldiers
And those who are searching?

A yes necessitates a no, and a no necessitates a yes
The Economy of Life is painful

I don’t know (for certain) if anyone (he) writes
anything for me (or about me)— (how I wish to know)

Am I only imagining
our souls are filling in spaces between words?

I consider these (and other) mysteries
I weep (over a beautiful soul)

And— Lord have mercy on me — (a sinner, lost and saved, and trying)
Have mercy, I long for a soul’s particular company— (forgive me)

To know his stories, hear the stories of his soul, hear him sing
Be part of, belong in his stories

Whose relatively recent (in my life) appearance—
A flower bursting through snow

Have mercy on me
For dreams I harbor

Have mercy on me
Undeserved grace

Daily plodding, incessantly pleading (for minutiae)
Continuously dreaming

And dying

**

January 11, 2018

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